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2011 passport
It's times like these I hate being a freelancer. When I realize that I have to chase money about 10 bucks at a time, not only in my private practice, but for Életkör as well, the space I run and operate out of. It's just plain exhausting, and I hate not knowing where the next bit of money is going to come from, hate not knowing whether I can pay my bills. It's times like these that I realize I really just want a JOB with benefits and paid sick days, and a regular salary. And it's also times like these I realize such things cannot be had in Hungary, at least not the kind that I could actually live on, because I still make more money this way than if I were to go work in a hospital or a school. And I mean, I make 2-3-4-5 times more. It's just the uncertainty is killing me, and when the uncertainty comes from every single corner of my existence, it wears me down.

So these are the times I start thinking about moving to the States, start looking at jobs and perhaps even apply for a few. My problem, of course, is that moving to the States with two small children would be insane unless I had a job with benefits lined up. And here I run into yet another problem. I have a Masters in Psychology (and a certificate from a Hungarian university in psychotherapy) - that is not enough for private practice, nor even enough for most counseling positions that I can see... So what else can I do? I'm an IBCLC, so technically I could get a job at hospitals doing lactation consulting. Except I'm not a registered nurse, and even educator jobs in hospitals seem to be contingent on being a registered nurse. I could be a doula, but that's not a job, that's a private practice, no job security, no benefits, no health insurance.

So here I am with nearly 20 years of education under my belt, years of experience counseling, working with pregnant women and small babies, and I'm having trouble finding a salaried position in the US? Argh.

I could close Életkör, and use all the extra time that frees up to do nothing but job hunting in the US, so that I could get a job lined up and move there, preferable to Southern California where I have family. But then I run into the whole mess of issues surrounding going to the States... like taking my kids to a totally new environment, taking them far away from everything and everyone they know. And being a single mom there.

And ideas or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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